The Way Up is Down

Living in the paradox. Life is all about paradox.

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that the way of the world “makes sense” while the way of heaven “does not make sense.” The genuine way up is down. The real way forwards is backwards. The real wisdom comes from children. The most significant amongst us are the ones with the least amount of influence. What the world considers wise, God considers foolish. And what God considers wise, well, the world doesn’t get it.

I’m becoming more aware as I walk through life day by day that I’m so far removed from what being fully alive means. The more I grow, the more I realize how far I have left to grow. It “doesn’t make sense,” and yet, it totally does. The way up is down.

Though it’s brain stretching to think about these things, I believe it’s really important to do so. I’m learning - and trying to embrace - the idea that I succeed at taking the highest ground when I become the lowest. I am exalted by becoming the most humble. I am the “line leader” when I’m actually at the end of the line. The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. The way of heaven is not the way of the world; the way up is down.

My brother and I were sitting on the beach yesterday and we began talking about Harry Potter. (NOTE: I am about to spoil the series. Don’t read the next two paragraphs if you want it to be kept from you!). We started this conversation a long time ago, and today we continued that chat about this incredible series, picking up where we left off five years ago. We were talking about how amazing J.K Rowling illustrates the theme of good versus evil in her wizarding world. The entire world of Harry Potter revolves around that idea. And my brother and I started talking about Dumbledore and how he was arguably the beacon of hope, the depiction of “good” in the series, if you will. I countered with the idea that, perhaps, Dumbledore never really cared about Harry. He always knew Harry would have to die, so he never got attached, he never invested in him beyond knowing he was a sheep meant only for slaughter. And so, he never really loved Harry and as a result, couldn’t be considered the perfect good in this story.

After a series of back and forth comments about which character then seemed to be the depiction of perfect good, we couldn’t come up with one person. Voldemort was of course the perfect evil, and we came to that conclusion because he had to let the goodness in him (Tom Riddle) completely die before he could be truly evil. And so, my brother and I realized that - in the most profound way - to become perfectly good, one must first die to all of the evil in them. And that begs the question of what humanity is really made up of: a mix of good and evil. None of us are perfectly good. None of us are perfectly evil, either. We only go one of two ways based off of what we’re willing to die to. If we want to die to goodness, then of course we begin embracing the evil in us more and more. However, good can ultimately win when we continue to die to the evil in us.

I learn how to truly live then by experiencing death. Perfect goodness understands that death to evil is required in order to be perfectly good. Therefore, the way up is down.

This song resonates in my mind today, given these revelations:

I'm living proof
Of what the mercy of God can do
If You knew me then
You'd believe me now
He turned my whole life upside down
Took the old and He made it new
That's just what the mercy of God can do

Now I'm alive to tell the story
How I've overcome
It's His goodness and mercy
And the power of His blood
I'm so glad that my freedom
Wasn't based on what I've done
The goodness and mercy
And the power of the blood
So much power in the blood

Ooh, mm

I thought I deserved
Oh, to be six feet beneath the earth
For all the things I've done
The things I've said
The choices made that I regret
Oh, I would still be lost
Oh, but for the mercy of God

…

Was the cross meant for me
That my Savior carried?
Now I've been made free
By the mercy of God
Was the grave meant for me
Where my sin lay buried?
Now I stand redeemed
By the mercy of God

…

Away my sin
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can wa- (what can wash away my sins?)
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
Nothing but his blood
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
Oh, nothing but the blood of Jesus

—Mercy (Maverick City Music)